Love vs. In love

So this one will be completely different from my first post. This one is more about relationships than anything else.

When you say you love someone, do you mean that you love them as a person, or are you in love with them? I always thought there was this huge abyss of a difference between plain old love, and in love. As I have come to learn they are not much different. I think if you love somone (a romantic partner, not a family member or friend by the way) that you have felt that first spark. I believe those first butterflies that never seem to leave your stomach when you are around that special person are what tells you that you are in love with them. I think it's how you know you love them. I used to believe that if you are not in love with me, you don't want to be with me, and possibly don't love me. I stewed over this, and realized that it may be possible for the feeling of "in love" to be confused with all the excitement of a new relationship. When that excitement dies, it's possible to think that the feeling of being in love has gone with it. I think, however, that if you still look at that special person and still think that you love them, and maybe always will, that you are still in love with them at that point. Just because the butterflies flew away and only return every now and then, does not mean your love is fading. I think it means your love is changing.

Every new relationship is like a new adventure. The person you are on the adventure with is likely just as nervous as you, and, hopefully, wants it to work out as much. In the begining you think you could never even argue with this person, but as time goes on, you learn you can't always see eye to eye. Learning that lesson is sometimes a toughy. It sort of stinks to have the innocence and newness of the relationship taken away, but it's also a great thing! You have gotten the chance to be closer with an individual, and you are no longer afraid to disagree.

I don't know why I am writing this, I am frankly not sure people will read it and think that I am some awesome person. I don't even expect people to agree with everything that I say. I just want to write, and to be able to think that somebody out there might care about what I have to say.

On another note, I have to say that even though girls are said to be the confusing ones, I have found boys to be just as confusing, if not more so. For example, my boyfriend of almost 2 years goes on about these random reasons why we shouldn't stay together, but then he wants us to be together again afterwards...he seems very undecided on the issue. I always thought it was girls that caused that drama. I have to laugh a bit at the irony though. Two years ago I would have been on here wondering if it is possible to love to people. I would have been the one confused and juggling with my thoughts back and forth on the issue. I find it quite Ironic that as I am sure of what I want, he is suddenly unsure. My threory (I hope it's on the right track) is that as a 21 year old he is seeing our relationship turn more serious since we will be together for 2 years in a month and a halfish. I think that it gives him cold feet to think that he could settle down with me, since we act as if we are very settled together sometimes. I know it's hard for him to think serious, because the whole idea of marriage and children are enough to send the boy running for the hills. His problem is that at a young age, out of nowhere, his mother left his father. He feels that somehow his childhood was never as perfect as it should have been. As a result, he does not want to get married, have kids, and then be divorced. My parents are still together, yet argue a lot, or are always complaining about the other one to me when the other is not around. I am not saying I wish my parents were divorced, but sometimes it is better than watching them argue, and listeing to the not so friendly remarks made behind the others back. I just keep reminding him that if he thinks he is going to get married to someone, do not go into it with the thought of an impending divorce, because at that point, what was the point of vowing "til death do you part"? I am NOT saying that everyone who is divorced is without good reason, but I think it to be ridiculous to think of a marraige as an impending divorce-doom.

Now I have a question. I may never get a reply to this, but I am going to ask anyways. What is something nice you can do for someone that is not too expensive, but is just a really great way to say I love you? I always try to think of something nice for my boyfriend, but I either chicken out, or can't think of anything for him. I think corny girly girl things, but I need something that he might actually enjoy that is not a girly girl, corny thing to do. If that makes any sense.

Well, that does it for my ramble tonight. Hopefully it wasn't to awful.
~Katy